Past Transactions
by Essence of Soup
Summary: Shikamaru died after blowing Hidan up. Now he and the zealot are reborn into HP world. How will this affect Harry and Draco?
1. Dying and Rebirth

Title: Past Transactions

Author: Essence of Soup

Rated: T for Hidan's mouth.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. Aren't you glad?

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Shikamaru died after blowing Hidan up. Now he and the zealot are reborn into HP world. How will this affect Harry and Draco?

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~Ninja Realm~

Two figures were in the clearing, one a leaf-nin with dark brown hair pulled back into a high spiky pony tail, dark almost black eyes watch the man -- no, monster in front of him.

The other stood suspended in midair, his ruined cloak surrounded by paperbomb-carrying shadow strings, his silver hair a mess as blood dripped down his chin from his mouth, violet eyes wide in shock.

This bratty infidel caught him? Again!? He, Hidan, ardent follower of Jashin-sama, who had sacrificed hundred's of heathenness shinobi's in the name of his god?!

He was gonna kill the audacious shithead!

Shikamaru, chunin of Konoha, watched coolly as he lit the cigarette, hatred burning in his normally bored eyes at the akatsuki member in front of him.

"When you cursed my sensei, I didn't come here to play around." Pointing to the large hole the Jashinist was currently hanging over, the shadow manipulator continued.

"That hole is your grave."

Hidan chuckled, an amazing feat considering half of his throat was slit open.

"I'll never die. Even if you destroy my body and I'm left with nothing but my head, I'll escape and when I do, I'll hunt you down and bite your fucking throat out!"

Shikamaru exhaled, a wispy cloud of smoke exiting his mouth.

"The thing about this forest is that it's run by my family. No one else ever comes here without permission. My clan will keep you trapped here forever."

Shikamaru could have sworn he felt Asuma next to him, congratulating him on catching the insane psyco. So lost in this feeling he didn't see the Jashinist's face.

Hidan scowled. He was in deep shit.

_Come on there's gotta be a fucking way out of this! There's gotta be! Damn that fucker! I'll send ya to hell and fuckin' torture you for ever! I'll kill you even if I havta give up my immortality--_

Then an idea sparked in the zealot's head. It was an ancient ritual for Jashinist's, used only as a last resort. When a Jashinist had lived for a very long time, they often longed for death after a time (100-200 years usually) and so to end their immortality they seek out a very strong opponent and then in the mist of battle used the ritual to connected their life source to the opponent then kill the opponent, thus killing themselves in the name of Jashin.

Hidan grinned. He much rather be dead then to be trapped in that shithole, unable to serve his god.

_Congrats ya damn fucker, you just forced me to use my ultimate technique. You and I will die today, and I'll be with Jashin-sama as you rot in hell._

There was still his blood on his blade, and looking at the teen in front of him the boy had gone glassy eyed as though remembering something, his shadows slacked in that brief moment. Perfect.

Taking the boy's distraction, Hidan pulled his arms out of the loose shadows, quickly performing the signs with a speed that only Kakashi could have followed.

Shikamaru cursed his distraction and tighten the shadows around the madman but it was too late.

Hidan finished the last seal and he and Shikamaru both felt their life force connect, startling Shikamaru from the concentrated sensation.

_Now!_ Hidan thought as he threw the blade at the stunned boy before the shadows could stop him.

Shikamaru felt it before he ever saw it, his heart and lung getting pierced through.

He dropped to the ground clutching the metal blade-rod, Hidan jerking back in his bonds from the feeling. Then Shikamaru's shadows unleashed, dropping the violet eyed man into the hole below, the bombs still attached to him.

Shikamaru gasped, the cigarette falling from his mouth as blood seeped through.

"Ah…ah…ha…ha ha…ha ha! HAHA HAHA HAHA!!" Hidan's dying laughter echoed from deep below.

"Jashin-sama's judgment has been dealt! Now you…and I will die. Weep… in despair, you atheist fucker! Jashin-sama will torture… you for all eternity!" He said between gasps.

Shikamaru staggered to the edge of the hole, his life seeping out of him.

"I don't care…about your Jashin or… whatever you call him. You and…I believe two different things." Shikamaru's vision blurred, the pain receding as life left his body.

Pulling out a kunai and explosive tag he pointed it at the wall in the hole.

"I believe in the will of Fire."

The kunai went flying towards the wall.

A resounding boom was heard every where and in that moment two men died.

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~Order of the Higher Power~

Death was a powerful being, looking like a wraith from the ancient stories, and taking souls to the afterlife to be sent to paradise or to hell and was one of the few elder gods left.

Not many mortals knew the difference between the elder and the lesser gods but those that did knew that the lesser gods were usually only worshipped in their realm while the elder gods were worshipped on nearly all realms, making Death one of the strongest and oldest of deities along with his twin brother Life.

Right now though he was stuck in a meeting of realm entities, discussing the latest souls he had collected.

Or more like listening to the loud mouthed ninja realm minor deity Jashin, Lesser God of Utter Destruction and Iniquity, and a pissed off Destiny, an elder deity have a screaming match.

"He will not be sent to the bowels of Hell! He was an important piece in my plans for that realm!"

"Too fuckin' bad! It was my servant that killed the fucker with my rituals thus his soul is mine to frichin' deal with!"

"No! He was important to my plans and must be sent back!"

"That's against the rules bitch!"

"Then your servant should be sent to hell as well!"

Death rubbed his nonexisting temples, as did many of the other gods, both elder and minor.

The laws put up clearly says that if a minor deity had a anything given to him/her by one of their devotee's that the sacrifice was theirs to do with however they saw fit.

But the laws also stated that if an elder deity had plans for something or someone it was to run its needed course.

Thus landing to where they were now. The mortal known as Shikamaru Nara was an important piece to Destiny and had been murdered by Jashin's servant Hidan before his time. But because it was within Jashin's right to do whatever he wanted to the mortal because it was his ritual that killed him Destiny couldn't have him, but because Destiny had a pre-plan for Shikamaru to help shape the ninja realm Jashin couldn't have him either, thus leading to the two entities backbiting.

Now they were fighting over whom to send back, which went were and neither would compromise to the others demand.

Death wanted a cold hard drink, maybe get out into the sun, bleach his bones and just pretend these two weren't bickering like mortal children.

Finally minor deity Eris, Lesser Goddess of Discord was getting enough of these two, stood up and promptly bellowed, "SHUT UP! We came to discuss this as civil beings! Not warring mortals!"

The duo stopped, then quietly sitting back down while the rest stared at Eris in shock and surprise. Made you wonder how bad these two were to get the personification of arguments annoyed with their banter.

Death, after order was returned, stood up.

"We have come here to decide where we should put the mortal Shikamaru Nara. Shall he be given to Jahin? Or taken to paradise?"

"Sir," Destiny addressed. "Why not send him back to the living?" Destiny didn't want to see him be taken by that cruel Jashin.

No, she would not see one of her inheritors of the Will of Fire suffer such a fate.

"Because it was, as Jashin had so clearly and voicefully said, his servant that did this. It would not be far to allow one to live and not the other."

"Then send him back to the living as well as Nara." Elder Hope said.

"We can't." Tezcatlipoca, minor deity of Anxiety and Trouble spoke. "Death himself said that the devotee Hidan's time had run out on that plane. You can't restore it."

"If I may," A quiet voice spoke though everyone heard it. Life stood, much to everyone's amazement. He normally never spoke during these squabbles.

"I think in the name of fairness that Mister Nara should be reincarnated."

Many looked surprised at him. Reincarnate? They haven't done that since the Hindu's first came about! Of coarse they had to stop that after awhile do to the overpopulated deathtoll, much to Death's amusement.

"What?!" Jashin yelled. "How is that fair? My servant had to die to get that fucker in the afterlife! Now you want to put him back on the ninja realm just like that? Where's the damn justice in that?!"

One look from Death and Life sent the lesser being into silence.

"Destiny," Life spoke.

"Y-yes!"

"Can you change the course of the ninja realm without Mister Nara?"

"Possibly, but it'll take a lot of finagling." She said hesitantly.

"Good. Do you have any other realm that may need Mister Nara?"

"Um, let's see…" Destiny said, shuffling through a large folder she always carried with her.

"Well, there is one realm… but I'm not too pleased with how I had to plan it. Lots of people will die, more then I like to admit."

Destiny had a difficult job. Every world had at least one Avatar on it in every century and often closer in years. In order to get the Avatar to his final destination, more often then not she had to choose who was dispensable and indispensable. Many of the dispensable ones were usually allies or close friends and family to the Avatar, making her job really sad game of chess.

Life smiled fondly at her. "If I were to place Mister Nara on this world, would you be able to use him?"

Destiny looked up in surprise, but she began to quickly come up with strategies. After a long minute she nodded. "I just re-evaluated my plan. If all goes correctly, there won't be as many demises."

"Oh?" Life chuckled. "You already thought of a place for him?"

"Yes, but I only have a narrow opportunity to do this. Time is dwindling."

"Hey! What about my servant?! Don't tell me he fuckin' died for nothing!"

"Hmm, you're right Jashin. That really isn't fair. Mister Nara as well as Mister Hidan shall be reincarnated into this realm."

"WHAT?!" Destiny and Jashin yelled.

Destiny didn't want that fanatic there! He might ruin everything! Again!

Jashin didn't want his servant there! That wasn't his realm!

"And to make things interesting, they both shall keep their memories of their previous lives."

Jashin and Destiny just stared at smiling Life, jaws unhinged and eyes ready to pop out.

"I see by your faces you agree to the terms. Excellent! We'll reincarnate them now!" Life said far too cheerfully as he coaxed Destiny to tell him where Nara was going to be reincarnated as he sent a couple of his minions out to inform the Jashin follower and former Leaf-nin of their new mission.

_Life, you need a hobby._ Death thought as he rummaged around his desk for aspirin.

"Now that that's settled, meeting adjourned!"

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~ 9 April 1981, Wizard Realm~

Lucius Malfoy rushed to the room his wife was in, nervous for the first time since his son Draco was born a year ago.

Why? Because one week ago his wife Narcissa had gone into labor with their second child.

He had been shocked when she told him to expect a second child, or more accurately she approached him one day and smacked him across the face, yelling about how it was his fault her figure, which she had finally gotten back after having Draco, was gone again because he had impregnated her.

He decided to keep on his Death Eater's job till she gave birth.

A baby's cry was heard, his heart stopping momentarily before moving faster to the room. Opening the door he found his son Draco kept giving his new sibling wary glances as his wife gently rocking the newest member of his family.

Narcissa smile a rare smile as she looked at him. "Meet Aries Brutus Malfoy."

She said happily, handing the week old over to his father.

Lucius looked down at his son. The child had a silver tuff of hair, was very pale and had violet colored eyes.

Lucius blinked.

The baby was glaring at him. Not the 'Your not my mommy' glare more like a 'I'll rip out your heart, eat it, then dance on your corpse as I sacrifice your soul' kind of glare.

It worried Lucius greatly, thus he gently handed the baby back to his mother, who seemed oblivious to the infant glaring viciously at her.

Neither parent noticed Draco scoot away from the baby.

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~ 22 Sept 1981, Wizard Realm~

Lily was painfully tired. She had just been through twelve hours of labor, but it was worth it.

She looked down at the tiny babe in her arms. The new born boy had her father's dark brown almost black hair and even though he was just born his eyes were already open, revealing black eyes that looked around them languidly.

Looking up she saw the pride and love in her husband James face as he looked down at his new son. She laughed when little Harry tried to crawl out of his father's arms, reaching for his brother.

"Shawn Charles Potter," James said the babe's name quietly, as too not disturb his new son.

The baby slowly looked at him, then rolled his eyes before shutting them, quickly drifting off to sleep.

"Heh, he sure is quiet."

"Oh I'm sure he'll grow out of it." A voice said, causing the two adults to look up along with the two babies, much to the younger one's annoyance.

Albus Dumbledore, their former head master and undisputed leader of the light stood in the room, looking exactly the same as always.

Harry stared at the funny looking man as the newly named Shawn gave the man a cautious look.

"Dumbledore! It's good to see you!" James said brightly, Lily smiling at the professor.

The older man looked grim, meaning he had bad news. It was only then did the parents notice members of the Order of the Phoenix behind him.

The smiles faded.

"He has found our hiding place hasn't he?" James said, only to get a nod from the aged wizard.

"I know Lily just gave birth but we need to move post haste."

The two of the members of the Order were quickly packing everything as the other two carried Lily who held Shawn close. In minutes everything they had was packed and they were gone.

Later that evening Lily sat on a comfy couch in Dumbledore's office, trying to get Shawn to eat, but the baby was determined not to open his mouth (or eyes, which were tightly clamp shut) for his mother's breast milk.

Fortunately Madam Pomfrey had checked up and thought maybe he would try eating formula. This proved true, as he would much happier drinking from a bottle to which James said that maybe the baby was ill since no normal male would pass up a chance to suck a woman's tit.

Dumbledore wisely didn't try to unjinx James, who was now sporting tentacles on his forehead as he was suspended in the air upside down, just out of reach of his own wand.

He waited till morning to discuss matters with them, James finally getting down and unjinxing himself.

The messy haired man sighed, Lily quietly patting him on the back as she held Harry and rocked Shawn's crib, though he never made a noise.

"I just don't understand! It's like he's always half a foot behind us! Why can he always find us?" the tired man said, looking up to Dumbledore for an answer.

Albus looked at his former students and their two infant son's over his half-moon spectacles deep in thought.

"There is only one explanation as to how Voldemort seems to catch up with you so easily; we have a spy in the Order. I had been suspecting it due to the high number of failures any recent missions have been met with. Unfortunately, the fact that the Dark Lord is only able to keep up with you and not the Longbottoms suggests that it is one of your close friends who is indeed the traitor. I'm afraid that it is best that you tell no one where you are going next. It is too dangerous otherwise."

James stared at Dumbledore as though he was crazy. "No Marauder would ever betray his friends! Just suggesting it is barmy!"

"Now James, look at the facts. We have moved no less than five times in the last month. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that one of our friends is a traitor.

What if they're under the imperious curse? Either way we can't trust your friends like we used to and we need to find a way to keep Voldemort away from Harry, and Shawn as well."

"There is one spell which will not only hide you, but it is impossible to betray your location through spells and potions. The location must be willingly given by the secret keeper. It's called the Fidelis Charm." Dumbledore said.

"Would it work?" James said, hope showing in his eyes.

"Yes, its suppose to be strong enough that people could literally look straight at us but never see, feel, or sense us." Lily said, bringing her knowledge on the charm up.

"But it's a fixed charm, meaning that if we were to step out of its bounds we cancel it, and become far game. The only other way for people to find us is, as Dumbledore had said, if the secret keeper reveals our location."

"Then let's use it."

And the three adults made plans, unaware of the tiny ears that listened to their every word, quietly thinking through multiple scenarios and analyzing in way's that no baby ought to ever be able to.

He learned more about the events of that time in one month then most did in ten years.

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~ 2 Nov 1981, Wizard Realm~

Nara Shikamaru, now known as Shawn Potter, had just witnessed the man called Voldemort murder Harry's parents, who were betrayed by that rat Pettigrew, who was currently being hunted down by Harry's murderous godfather Sirius.

Now here he was, next to a sleeping Harry, on one of those motor things, a flying motor thing, that is being driven by a giant of a man.

It was official: he hated magic. It was waaay too troublesome.

And to make things worse, he was stuck in a month old baby's body, meaning he couldn't stop that Orochimaru-wannabe from killing the boy's parents. Though he did still have control over his shadow, as this proved when he managed to make Voldemort trip and misfire, only grazing Harry instead of killing him, but the attack had been enough for the protective magic Lily had used to activate, retaliating against the evil man, though judging by the blacken mist that all but ran from the place, Voldemort wasn't dead only weakened.

Yes life had become too troublesome.

The vehicle came to a jerky stop, the large man getting off and picking up the fifteen month and one month old.

Two people stood near him, both elderly.

"Hagrid, at last. And where did you get the motorcycle?"

Shikamaru grew tense at that voice. Dumbledore. He didn't like the man, if anything he sent his well hone survival instincts on edge.

Sirius gave it to him so that he could hunt down Pettigrew. Shikamaru answered mentally. He saw the desolated look in man's eyes, the need to get revenge. Shikamaru knew that look; he himself had sported it when that akatsuki cursed Asuma-sensei.

Though he did think out a plan for how to get back at the raging zealot instead of rushing off to kill him.

After Hagrid had explained that he found the boys in the nearly destroyed building, Dumbldore and a woman --McGonagall-- looking down upon them.

McGonagall stared at the sleeping Harry next to him.

"Is that where-?" She asked, looking at the tod's forehead.

"Yes, he'll have that scar forever." The creepy old man said.

"And this one?" McGonagall said, looking at the awake baby.

"He's fine. I doubt he got hurt at all."

After a sobby goodbye from Hagrid the giant handed the boy's over to Dumbledore who gently place the babe's on the doorstep, a note tucked in.

He relit the lights of the street bidding Hagrid and McGonagall goodbye before looking at the bundles on the steps of Private Drive.

"Good luck Harry and Shawn." The aged man murmured before disappearing.

_Really, what nutso leaves two babies in the middle of the night on a doorstep with crazy followers of a homicidal psycho racist running around? And to make things better, it's the doorstep of Lily's magic hating sister. Troublesome. _Shikamaru thought angrily as he willed the shadows to shield him and the sleeping baby next to him.

He was charged with keeping the baby alive and well, and he sure as clouds wasn't going to get sent back to the afterlife because he flubbed that up.

After a moment he easily went to sleep, dreaming happily of clouds and his friend's and family in Konoha, unaware that in a few hours he was going to be awoken by Harry's banshee of an aunt or how he and a certain Jashin follower were going to change the course of this world.

Destiny could only smile, and wait.

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Have you ever noticed how When ever a shinobi is sent over to HP world to help Harry, it's always Naruto or Sasuke?

Well I wanted to try something different.

Now Draco and Harry are big brothers!

To a raging Jashin fanatic and Konaha's number 1 genius slacker, respectably!

Hope you like it!

Review if you think it has any promise!

E.o.S.

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	2. Year 1: Hidan

Title: Past Transactions

Author: Essence of Soup

Rated: T for Hidan's mouth.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. Aren't you glad?

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~ 23 Nov 1982, Malfor Manor~

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Hidan wished he could say things could have been worse, but to be honest he was pretty sure he was in hell. Not only did he NOT get to spend the rest of eternity by his God's side. but he had been reincarnated, and to a family that was as heathenness as they come.

The mother was a naggy whore and the father was a girly looking bastard. Sadly the only acceptable one was the brat.

The only good thing he could see was that he could hopefully spread the word of Jashin and get more believers.

So far he had only managed to kill one of those strange-shit critter's called house elves and the old fucker Abraxas Malfoy. He seriously felt overdue.

Looking around Hidan caught sight of himself in a mirror; a year old version of himself stared back before screaming in horror, and running out of sight.

That was another thing; he absolutely hated magic. These people take such potential powers and what do the do with them? Why make a ton of useless jutsu's that can easily be done by hand in minutes (seriously, just how lazy were these fuck's if they couldn't be bothered to bend over and scratch their own asses?).

Had he been even an eighth this lazy, he could only hope that Jashin-sama would smite him.

Sighing, the S-class criminal zealot fiddled with his new amulet.

He had to threaten those weird ass creatures and bitch at the whore to get this made but he thought it worth it. Looking fondly at the symbol of Jashin, Hidan wondered if he would need to re-due the rites of passage so that he could get the same abilities as his previous body.

Before the Jashinist could dwell on this any longer though, Hidan was picked up, being embraced in thin arms.

"Aries sweetie, how's my baby boy!" The whore, Narcissa said happily.

Hidan rolled his eyes. He had never met a more self-deluded person before in his life (in either of them). He had flat out murdered the old fart and she went on about how he 'accidentally' killed the fucker and that same with the elf.

Apparently her blondeness went deeper then her roots.

"Mum?" Came a child's voice. Looking down from where he was being held Hidan spotted the youngest Malfoy.

Draco stared up at the two, his gray eyes wide with curiousity.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Cuddling him closer (to the man-turned-baby's disgust) Narcissa spoke again.

"I'm going to be out for a few hours Draco darling. Your father should be home before me but until then Dobby and the others will be watching over you two."

Hidan heard a distinct wail from the other side of the door, telling him the elves had heard her.

He smirked evilly.

Planting a kiss on Hidan's forehead (causing his skin to crawl and a sudden need to douse himself with holy boiling oil) along with Draco, the whore left with a goodbye.

Hidan was now once more left in the room of doom (A.K.A., the nursery) when Dobby (the only house critter he tolerated as it didn't get cowed by him) walked in and stood by the door, acting as a warden.

Hidan groaned. He was stuck in here till either the whore or girly fag came back!

Hidan stood up and walked over to a box full of toy soldiers. They were very realistic and died gory deaths if you 'killed' them right.

He spent the next hour playing with them, making noises as he sacrified the places to his god, laughing psychoticly as he did so.

The two elves on the other side of the door were too terrified to go in, Dobby was ill but stayed firm and Draco…

Well, to the two year old this was perfectly normally attitude from his baby brother so didn't give it much thought, though he did give him a wide berth.

Hidan soon bored of sacrificing the pieces and looked around for something else to do. he had decided to sacrifice another elf when Draco walked forward and sat in front of him, staring intently at Jashin's symbol.

After several minutes of intense staring the small boy spoke.

"Aries, wot's dat?"

Hidan looked down at the boy from where he stood, surprised at the question.

The zealot could sense the girly bastard outside the door now but didn't mind him too much as the now smiling Hidan held the medallion up.

"This is the symbol of Jashin-sama."

The little boy's face scrunched up into confusion.

"Who's Jah-sin-sam-ah?"

Hidan scowled at the brat. "No you turd, it's Jashin-sama! He is the lord of carnage! Destruction! Death!"

Hidan was about to rant how the boy was an idiot for not saying Jashin's name right but decided to let it slide. The boy was still unknowledgeable about his wonderful god, and if left to these fucker's antics may very well never get the chance!

"Draco, your parents are fuckin' heathens! It's my duty as one of Jashin-sama's loyal followers to insure all idiots have a chance to convert to him before I kill them." Hidan said seriously.

It was his obligation to help those less fortunate fools to find and receive Jashin's blessing or sacrifice them if they refused. Draco was still young, and very much impressionable.

A psychotic grin stretched its way across Hidan's face.

The perfect beginning material for a new follower.

"I'll help save your sorry ass by teaching you all you'll ever need to know about Jashin-sama! Then when you're a little older, I'll show you how to sacrifice the damn atheists! We'll start with that girly shitface faggot first! Praise Jashin-sama!"

Draco smiled back.

"Praise Jashin-sama!" the innocent Draco mimicked.

Hidan continued to grin. Draco had the making of a good Jashinist.

And judging by the audible 'pop' he heard a moment ago, the girly looking bastard was going to piss himself.

Patting himself on the back, Hidan spent the rest of the day teaching the ways of Jashin to Draco who absorb his words like a sponge.

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Lucius knew the moment that child came kicking and screaming from his wife's womb that Aries Malfoy was a demon.

Had anyone known he thought this way they would have presumed he thought the child a brat and hated his youngest son for thinking so. This was not the case.

The child was not a brat; he was a monster.

And he did not hate him; he feared him.

Why? Because when one wakes up and finds a toddler sitting on top of you grinning like a psychopath getting and ready to kill you with a butter knife is a clear sign you have a devil spawn.

He got an ear full (and quite a few hexes) from his wife when he hit the boy with a stunner spell but seeing as the boy was about to ram an eating utensil through his jugular he thought he had reacted well.

Though now he never slept without his wand, nor without a very powerful lock spell on the door.

He really did wonder if homicidal tendencies ran through the Black family, lord knows Bellatrix fit well with this assumption.

Though this wouldn't have bothered him so much if his youngest son wasn't trying to commit patricide at the age of one.

Aries had proven to be a very strange baby; he never cried when he wanted attention, he growled.

He was walking in six months, and talking before his first birthday. He thought Narcissa's eyes were going to pop out of her head when Aries started talking, mostly because his first words to her was "You're a fuckin' heathen, bitch! And so is that faggot lookin' shithead husband of yours!"

He had NO idea were he learned that.

Though he had develop strong sense of pity for his house elves; the demon spawn had already killed one in a gory fashion, three others was traumatized, and the last one was the only one to have any amount of luck on dealing with the demon.

If Dobby wasn't his servant/slave already he would have hired him and paid him handsomely for keeping the child from going homicidal on the rest of his family.

Though he was sort of pleased when the boy killed his father, even though Narcissa insisted it was just an accident. He knew better then his poor self-deluded wife.

Lucius sighed. Maybe he should consider getting the boy's a nanny, a human nanny. At least then they may get some human contact besides him and Narcissa.

It might actually be more helpful if they both had separate ones as Draco was by far the good son and he didn't trust Aries to not scare or traumatize the poor boy.

But getting real nanny's was costly, and bound to put a 'dent' in his money (it didn't matter if he was obscenely wealthy and that dent would only be a little one, money was still money and hiring two witches was unheard of!).

Looking around his office Lucius decided to call it a day and to see how Draco and the Spawn were doing.

After all the Spawn tried to commit patricide, who was to say he wouldn't try fratricide too?

Lucius left the office, slowly walking to the nursery the boys' shared.

Narcissa was out with some friends while he had to some errands to run at the Ministry earlier before getting caught up in paperwork so they had left the boys' with the remaining elves.

He really hoped Aries hadn't killed another one, those things were not cheap.

As he finally got to the room, Lucius stopped as he saw two of the elves trembling greatly next to the partly opened door, utter terror evident in their eyes.

Lucius had opened his mouth to demand why they weren't in there watching the boy's when a voice stopped him. Draco's voice to be precise.

"Aries, wot's dat?"

Curious, Lucius look through the half open door. The two brother's were next to each other, Draco sitting on the floor as Aries stood defiantly, holding what appeared to be a strange pendant; it appeared to be made from metal, and was a upside-down triangle within a circle.

"This is the symbol of Jashin-sama."

Lucius' blood went cold; the Spawn always talked about Jashin-sama, his evil god of death and destruction!

"Who's Jah-sin-sam-ah?"

"No you turd, it's Jashin-sama! He is the lord of carnage! Destruction! Death!"

The younger boy gave a solemn look at the naive Draco.

"Draco, your parents are fuckin' heathens! It's my duty as one of Jashin-sama's loyal follower to insure all idiots have a chance to convert to him before I kill them."

Aries then broke out into a psychotic grin.

"I'll help save your sorry ass by teaching you all you'll ever need to know about Jashin-sama! Then when you're a little older, I'll show you how to sacrifice the damn atheists! We'll start with that girly shitface faggot first! Praise Jashin-sama!"

Draco smiled back.

"Praise Jashin-sama!" the innocent Draco mimicked.

Lucius was back in his office with an audible snap, rushing to his desk as he hastily filed out as many petitions for two nanny's as fast as possible.

Expenses be damned; he would much rather be ridiculed then deal with TWO Demon Spawn's out to kill him!

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Finally! I got a chapter up! Yahoo!

I apologies for not posting this sooner. My computer had crashed and deleted my chapters so now I'm back at square one.

Hope you like it (sorry its short)!

Hidan's only been there a year and already he's causing hell and trying to convert poor little Draco.

The next chapter will be Shikamaru's.

Review please!

E.o.S.


	3. Year 1: Shikamaru

Title: Past Transactions

Author: Essence of Soup

Rated: T for Hidan's mouth.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. Aren't you glad?

* * *

~ 21 Nov. 1982, 4 Privet Drive in Little Whinging, Surrey~

.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Shikamaru wondered if it was legal to keep a hippo, a horse and a wild pig on the premises because kami knows if he was one of the Dursley's neighbor's then he would have called animal control by now because he was definitely sure the Dursley's didn't count as human.

"Oy! Fweaks! Get up! Mum wants you in the kitchen!" Came the squeaky voice of his charge's pig-- _ahem_-- alleged cousin.

Shikamaru sighed before he felt a thin finger nudged him gently. Turning slightly he found himself staring at emerald green eyes of his ward and cupboard-roomie; Nara Shikaeru or better known in this realm of reality as Harry Potter.

The relatives had no intention of calling the green eyed boy by his given name (the fact they had called them both 'freaks' and 'boys' constantly could attest to this) and the daft wizard's hadn't bothered to send someone to personally check up on them so Shikamaru had felt no need to call Harry by his given name and had given him another since he was 'technically' his brother in this world.

Plus if what he heard was true, Shikaeru was going to hate the name Harry Potter in time.

He figured if he was stuck here for the time being he might as well make the boy into a ninja, after all there was a maniacal megalomaniac on the loose wanting the two year old dead, and even worse an entire society that wanted to use the boy as some trophy and propaganda tool to make themselves look better because of their incompetence during the war.

Given the choice between the two evils, Shikamaru was more incline to let the dark wizard destroy the boy then to let the wizarding society pick the kid clean of his sanity. It was more merciful.

Right now though Shikamaru was content with keeping the boy at learning small stuff, like physical and mental exercise.

"Peese git up. Dudders is squealin' agin."

The former leaf ninja gave a disgruntled snort.

"When isn't he squealing?" He said agitatedly; he was cutting teeth and had a hell of a time talking correctly, not to mention he had to teach Shikaeru how to talk correctly as his evil relatives tried to make the boy seem stupid by giving him wrong words to say.

Shikaeru gave out a babyish giggle at his brother's words before opening the cupboard door letting light into the small space. Shikamaru reluctantly followed as his was stomach rumbling.

Marching to the kitchen the two looked up at a thin horse face like blonde woman who scowled at then nastily look.

"Get out a pan! It's time you two learned to work around here!"

Shikamaru gave her a bored look but did as he was told when Shikaeru shot him a pleading stare.

_You know, no matter where you go or what language you're speaking this is still considered child abuse and slavery._ Shikamaru thought with anger.

The lady had 'taught' them how to do laundry a few days ago, or more accurately she had given them minimal instruction and expected them to know the rest.

Shikaeru was really lucky Shikamaru hadn't gotten his memories swiped, otherwise the laundry would've been a disaster, giving the horse lady a chance to nag.

He was sure even his own mother (from his real realm) hadn't been this bad in the naggy department.

After retrieving a pan the two cooked breakfast under the evil hag's semi-watchful eyes as to make sure they didn't ruin her 'precious' Dudder's food.

Shikamaru watched her too, waiting for her to look away and when she did he would drop pieces of breakfast, the shadows around him taking and preserving them else where.

He started this when the Dursley's began to 'forget' to feed him and Shikaeru.

That was when he forced his shadows to do things he had never done before. Within the year he had been here, he had used his shadows to hide them, listen in on conversations, and most recently to teleport. It was amazing once you thought about it how he had complete control of the house due to his abilities and intelligence.

Shikamaru finished making his part of the breakfast as he quietly instructed Shikaeru how to finish his part.

A moment later the ninja heard heavy set footsteps coming his way. Mouthing _'look sharp'_ to Shikaeru he silently watched from his peripheral vision as 'Uncle' Vernon walked in.

The man was big, beefy man with a large purple face. He has thick, dark hair, a bushy black moustache, with hardly any neck and small, mean eyes.

"Petunia darling, I'll be working late today. Save some dinner for me."

"But Vernon! Duddykins is going to the Daycare today! Aren't you going to see him off?"

"I'd love to but I'm already running late."

A basketball with legs waddled in then, looking for the entire world to Shikamaru as a bloated pig with a blonde wig.

"Dad! I don' wanna go! Mama don' make me!" Dudley wailed, faking tears as Petunia went to comfort the fat brat.

"There, there Duddykins. You'll enjoy it! You'll make lots of friends because you're just the most charming person ever!"

"Compared to an eel maybe. Doubtful. I'm pretty sure I'd take the eel any day. Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered under his breath.

"What about 'em? Are da fweaks comin'?"

"Heavens no! I wouldn't let those boys any where near other children if I can help it! They'll be at Figg, our neighbor."

Shikamaru sighed. He didn't like the cantankerous old lady; she was moody, criticizing, bitchy, smelled like old cabbage and had demons for cats.

But then again, it got Shikaeru away from the Dursley's. He really was going to have to do something about this.

After breakfast, he and Shikaeru were marched over to old lady Figg, once more without a breakfast.

Shikamaru waited till the Dursley's left before taking Shikaeru to the side away from the grouchy lady. Then once he was sure the two were alone, a shadow bulged and reformed till the food he dropped earlier was in front of them. Shikaeru gratefully ate the meal, smiling happily at Shikamaru.

"Thanks Shikamaru!" The boy said happily.

Shikamaru nodded once as he nibbled on a piece of toast, keeping an eye on Figg. He had recalled seeing the wizard known as Kingsley Shacklebolt show up a few times at Figg's residence, meaning Figg was a spy implanted to keep something of an eye on them.

_A lot of good she's been._ Shikamaru mentally snorted. He really was amazed the Wizarding Society had remained undetected for so long. Really, these people didn't know how to be subtle at all. Had ninja's been stationed around here to look for suspicious activity these people would of stuck out like a kunai in a wound.

But part of him was glad he wasn't surrounded by ninja's right now. He didn't act even close to a normal baby. Normal toddler's did not start walking at four months, talking near full sentences by six months and begin reading English by the time they were nine months. The Dursley's presumed he was just a freak and didn't give it much thought.

Shikamaru hated the Dursley's but at least they're firm belief of the Potter's being freaks made them ignore his extremely abnormal development. He was just happy the Goddess Destiny had given him the ability to understand and speak six of this world's languages (though she didn't give him the ability to read them, he was on his own with that).

Destiny. One of the beings that just had to go and complicate his existence.

Turning his eyes to the young scrawny boy happily eating next to him before looking out the window to the cloud's Shikamaru recalled how he got landed in a year old's body in the worst realm ever.

* * *

_**Reminiscing**_

* * *

~Order of the Higher Power, Cell Block 09.07 1/8, over one Wizard Realm year ago~

.

Shikamaru wondered if he were to try and kill Hidan again if the guy would disappear, because if murdering his sensei wasn't enough, then his annoying mouth was a good incentive.

"Were the fuck are we! Why the hell haven't I've gone straight to Jashin-sama?! Answer me you fucktards or I'll sacrifice you shitheads!" The silver haired man screamed at the door where presumably the guards were behind of.

After the two had died, the two had came face-to-skull with Death, who after looking through a very large book said "Oh dear, we have a snag. How troublesome." (Not something you want to hear from Death of all creatures).

Death then summoned several men in white and black garbs and masks who then grabbed them and put them in this small cell with the reassurement that they would be placed in the accordant after life that was proper for them. Now here he was, lounging in a chair as the extremist banged on the door in front of him, ready to fall asleep.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU (**beep**)ING SONAVA(**beep**) BEFORE I (**beep**) (**beep**) (**beep**)ING YOUR SORRY (**beep**)!!"

Shikamaru could now understand why Hidan's partner, Kakuzu seemed to hate this guy. He just wouldn't shut up.

_Ino was never this bad._ Shikamaru thought before something dawned on him. Choji, Ino, the village, his parents! Everyone! He was never going to see them again!

Shikamaru suddenly felt cold and alone.

Before he could dwell on this much further the door swung open, revealing four of the black and white guards and three other people.

One Shikamaru had trouble telling if it was female or male, as it had elbow length pale blonde hair gender neutral face and wore an off white robe that hid it's figure.

The next person was a pissed looking man with long blood red hair and eyes with ram horns on his head and wore cargo pants and army boots with a trench coat that was open, revealing his shirtless torso that bore a Jashin symbol tattoo.

Hidan saw this man and for once was gobsmacked into silence as he looked as though he had seen something holy.

The last one was a lovely lady with short gray hair, blue and yellow eyes with a thick pair of glasses resting on her nose as she carried a several file folders.

The gender confusing person spoke (much to Shikamaru's ire even the voice was neutral, being neither male or female sounding). "Nara Shikamaru and Jashinist Hidan, the Orde-"

"Jashin-sama!!" Hidan interrupted loudly before dropping to his knees and bowing as low as physically possible to the horned man.

Shikamaru was rather surprised to see the crazed zealot so respectful. Looking at the red head, Shikamaru almost cringed.

_So this is the guy he sacrificed me to. Judging by the blood stained cleaver and spiked mace strapped to him, Hidan wasn't kidding about him making me suffer. Lovely. _

Shikamaru wasn't sure which scared him more; Jashin who looked ready to cleave his head off and torture him for eternity or Hidan who was doing a scary impersonation of an obsessed stalker/fangirl mixed with Gai's 'Power of Youth'.

"As I was saying," The strange genderless one continued. "the Order of the Higher Power has decided to reincarnate you two into another realm."

"What?" Shikamaru said, not quite sure he heard correctly.

"What?! Fuck no! I just got here! I will not be going the hell away from Jashin-sama now that I'm here!"

"Hidan." Jashin spoke that one simple name and Hidan shut up still bowing. "Your going. The realm you're going to has never even fuckin' heard of me! The damn atheists! I'm charging you with bringing in more members, thus bringing me more goddamn glory! Don't fail or I'll renounce my claim on you! Got that bitch?!"

"Hai Jashin-sama!"

"Good! Get going!" Jashin said before disappearing in a haze of blood.

Hidan flickered out the room, and was probably half way down the hall before the guards got a hold of him to take him the reincarnation room.

Wiping blood off her jacket the woman murmured. "I hate it when he does that bloody mist thing."

Looking up at Shikamaru she gave a tired smile. "Hello, I'm the Goddess Destiny and this is the God Life. As he had said you are going to be reincarnate."

Looking at the two Shikamaru sat lazily on the chair. "What's the catch?"

"What makes you think there's a catch?" The deity known as Life said pleasantly.

"I just died and came within arm reach of the deity I got sacrifice to. I was either going to get tormented forever or sent to purgatory unless Jashin had decided to show compassion and let me go to heaven, which judging on his persona and followers is very unlikely. And you plan to reincarnate his follower as well when it would make more sense to just leave him in his deity's wake. Now either Jashin is a much kinder soul then he is portrait or something happened that wasn't expected."

Life chuckled. "No wonder you chose him as an important piece. He's intelligent! Plus he has taken the news about being dead better then most do."

"Important piece?" Shikamaru said, eyeing the lady.

"Let me explain. Every world has at least one Avatar; the chosen one who will bring balance and prosperity to the world. In short a savior to all things free and good. The Avatar of your old realm is Uzumaki Naruto."

Shikamaru's eyes widen at this. Naruto? An Avatar?

In a strange sort of way, it made sense. Naruto could do things that no other person could do.

Seeing him understand, Destiny continued. "It is my duty to create several paths for the Avatar to take, giving him a choice as well as how something occurs and effects his life and the outcome for the world. During this, I have to decide who is and isn't expendable. Originally, you were indispensable, and were to live a long life were you got married, had a daughter then a son, retired after your daughter married and son became a successful ninja, played go and shogi in your spare time then die of old age before your wife. But thanks to a certain zealot," Destiny glared momentarily at the door, as though Hidan and Jashin were still there, "you were died prematurely. You were suppose to go to Jashin's section of hell and be tortured forever but because you were my piece, we had to compromise. That's were Lord Life comes into play. He had decided to have you two reincarnated."

Shikamaru blinked. That was unexpected. But that didn't explain the other question. "Why are you reincarnating us into another realm? If I'm needed in the ninja realm, why not just send me back?"

"Because Hidan's time had ran out on that plane of reality. Jashin wouldn't allow you to come back while his servant died for no reason. So in the interest of preventing a Divinity War, Lord Life suggested that both you and Hidan be reborn in another realm."

"And there is another thing." Life spoke, his strange smile still on his face. "Destiny has use for you in this realm."

Looking at the goddess expectingly, Shikamaru wondered what she had in store.

Sighing sadly Destiny resumed speaking. "You see, many of the Avatar's are orphans, become orphans and/or suffer tragedy through out their life. This realm's Avatar suffers greatly. In my original diagram he suffers, looses many love ones, is hunted down most of his life by a crazed raging psychopath, is orphaned early in life, has a horrible family that abuses him, is idolized for something he has no memory of, manipulated by people he thought were friends, marries a girl who doesn't really loves him till much later in life, and dies a year after his second son goes to the same school that tried to kill him yearly in his childhood."

"…You love making people suffer, don't you?"

"Of course not! You think I enjoy making my Avatar's suffer?!"

"Naruto had a bad life. He was abused by the villagers who tried constantly to kill before he became a Genin, and they still hated him after that."

"Yet he still found a way to be positive. Naruto has more suffering in store, and many more choices to make, like the one were he may or may not go seeking revenge on Nagato, the one who killed Jiraiya or deciding if Sasuke should just die to perserve peace or getting back at the village for all those years he suffered by unleashing the Kyuubi."

"What?!"

"Oh, sorry, I just gave you a spoiler. My bad. But back on the subject. The Avatar of the realm is called Harry Potter, and he will suffer immensely, unless of course he had some there for him early on in his life, someone who took care for him, taught him morals, to discern good from wrong, to think for himself and maybe even how to defend himself and his loved ones. A guardian, if you will."

A light dawned on Shikamaru. "Your sending me to be this guy's nanny, aren't you?"

"No, not nanny. Little brother. You see the date for his parent's death is very soon, and I have a narrow window of opportunity. You will be reborn into this family where you will teach and protect him. just being reborn into this world will changed the coarse of the realm's future, and if all goes well, less deaths and the boy won't suffer as much."

"In short you will be the Avatar's herald of wisdom and babysitter." Life said a little too optimistically.

"I don't get a choice in this do I?"

"Yes you do. You will still be the boy's brother, but you could just do nothing and let the world fall apart. But if you did that I'll send you to Jashin once you die for failing this." Destiny said with a smirk.

"Troublesome. When do I start?"

"Here, swallow these." Destiny said as she handed him three pills. Looking at the strange colored pills Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow.

"The blue pill allows you to understand up to six languages (very helpful as your not going to be speaking the same language there), the red one gives you information of the realm your going to, and the green one lets you retain your memories from this life so you can be more help in the next life."

Looking at the pills once more, Shikamaru made a gamble and swallowed them. Immediately his brain was assaulted with knowledge of things he never knew but now understood very well.

"…owwww."

"Sorry, forgot to tell you about those killer headaches. Now if you will follow this person," Destiny said happily as she pointed to a guard, "we'll get you reincarned. You better hurry to, the windows almost closed. And Shikarmaru?"

Looking at the woman Shikamaru was graced with a kiss on his cheek and a grateful smile by Destiny.

"Good fortune to you."

* * *

_**Back in the Wizard Realm**_

* * *

Shikamaru frowned. So far Shikaeru had been happy, but that could be because he was obvious to the kind of life he lived. The boy was a good kid, quiet and never one to complain.

Shikamaru hated how the kid was being treated, by his own family no less. He resolved to give Shikaeru a better life, even if he had to thoroughly change this world. He was pretty sure he could do it; how many other people had the blessing of destiny on their side?

"...I'm sounding like a bad mix between Naruto and Neji. How disturbingly troublesome." He muttered, continuing to watch the cloud's. _Why couldn't they reincarnate me into a cloud? Freely wondering, no worries or cares…_

"Shikamaru? Whatcha lookin' at?" Shikaeru asked, tilting his head to see.

"…Clouds."

"Why?"

"Because even if everything is going wrong, it's nice to know there are some peaceful things to enjoy still. Clouds can't be taking away from you. There very peaceful too." The genius said lazily.

"Wows…you didn' say 'toublesome'."

"Replying to that would be too troublesome. Want to watch them with me Shikaeru?"

The green eyed boy didn't reply but did position himself to get a better view of the clouds. It would become the boy's favorite pass time after that day.

* * *

And there's Shikamaru's side! Yay for finally finishing this!

Shikaeru = to do over;to start anew.

The reason I had Shikamaru change Harry's name was because to Shikamaru, who has been charged with pretty much raising Harry, it's his right as the boy's de facto guardian to do so as he sees Harry as more his protégé then a brother, plus Harry didn't even know his real name since the Dursley's kept calling them freaks so Shikamaru thought it better to give him one.

That and he hates his new name 'Shawn' and can't imagine Harry liking his real name later in life (with all the drama and anguish he heard from Destiny, any person would hate that name if they had to suffer that kind of life).

Well, hope you liked it! The next chapter probably won't be out for a while.

Review!

E.o.S.

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